A very honest, slightly sleep-deprived recap
The day began at 2:30AM, which is not a real time and should not legally exist. Extra rude points were awarded when I discovered no coffee was ready in the lobby. Crimes were committed. After standing around questioning my life choices, we waited for a bus (because of course), eventually rolled into the staging area, and—credit where credit is due—had plenty of time for bag drop and bathrooms. A rare logistical win.
Then came my first plot twist: I left my handheld on the door hook like an absolute amateur. Cue me pleading through a closed bathroom door like a raccoon locked out of a dumpster. Miraculously, a kind soul heard my distress and handed it back. Crisis averted. Hydration restored. Faith in humanity renewed.
The 4:30AM start arrived aggressively early. I was technically upright but spiritually asleep. I left Eric in the corral so I could push up, sparing me the first-mile slalom of human traffic cones. Selfish? Maybe. Strategic? Absolutely.
Early magic came fast—the Tweedles with no line. A gift. Legs felt shockingly good, which was suspicious but welcomed. Unfortunately, the course leaned hard into parking lot aesthetics, starting with a deeply weird loop in the Magic Kingdom lot that screamed “urban planning experiment.” The sun didn’t rise until I cleared Animal Kingdom, just in time to head toward the Blizzard Beach parking lot, which is exactly as joyful as it sounds.
That said—I nearly clean-swept the character stops, and I regret nothing. While the marathon didn’t quite lean into the Reluctant Dragon theme the way the Half fully committed to “LOVE,” the vibes were still elite. And then—salvation—the Star Wars mile. Always my favorite. Pew pew. Galactic joy. Zero notes. If this were the whole race, I’d sign a lifetime contract.
The back half delivered the real magic: seeing K and Sara at the Boardwalk gave me a surge of pure serotonin, and Kelly and Kathy caught me literally in the final moments of the marathon—perfect timing, flawless execution.
I crossed the line with a PR, a ridiculous grin, and the deep satisfaction of knowing I absolutely wrung every ounce of joy out of this race.
Final verdict:
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️☆
9/10. Would love fewer parking lots. But if runDisney keeps the Battle of Endor, we’re square.
—Speedy Cheese 🧀✨
